Am I an Antisocial?

hey guys..

I've always wonder why its so hard to make friends when other do it with just a 'hi'
I wonder if I'm weird, antisocial, introvert and so many other terms synonym to that..

why cant i make friends instead i leave them with a bad impression, why cant i just let go of my consciousness in front of others eyes and thought why cant i just NOT care at all to every SH*T the throw me,
i see their eyes and i know i just know what they think is not good, but what i know more is I'm scared that the person they see is the real me..

i don't want to become that person who is easily influenced but I feel that am ,

will this shyness lead to a "FOREVER ALONE" status in life?

I ask the guidance of God to help me and the others see me in a different light..... a different angle........
 a different focus... help me not be judgemental and criticize other..
may my true emotions and feelings reach and not just my words.

and....

..as complicated as I can be,.

.....I'am a Good person.... THAT I'm sure...

I dont intend to be crystal clear, but not to be misunderstood..

to be continued...