Depression attack

hi guys! it has been a really really long time..

and today I just felt like writing something..

so earlier this afternoon, I was home alone and I decided to just watch some random episode of How I met your mother while doing my PowerPoint presentation for my thesis(which by the way didnt go far) so I came across this episode where Robin thought she was pregnant with Barneys but when they went for a check up, it was false alarm and so they were celebrating and all because they're both glad it wasn't true cause they know they weren't ready, so everything fine.

then the doctor called back Robin to tell her that she CAN'T have a child..

and it was at that moment, you see how Robin was smiling cause it was never in her plan to have a kid but it her eyes she was hurt and confused..

It was one thing to "WON'T" do something to "CAN'T" it was a world of a difference. 

nothing is constant that's what I learn in this life, one thing may change to another, and it includes our resolutions, opinions and choices. To know that there's that LIMITATION, that you don't get a choice, is what hurts.

I felt strange for a minute, then I went sad, then just all out depressed.

I remember all those times I was limited to do something. to not be able to make a choice thou I wanted so badly, to know that even if I'am the owner of my own life, there are still thing I can't control in it..

end.